Be Your Child's Own Credible Witness

The age old question! “From where do babies come?” It can send you into a tailspin, you might start to sweat and feel uncomfortable, even reaching for a paper bag because you are hyper-ventilating! But it doesn’t have to be that extreme.

Your answers to your child’s question should depend on the age of your child, and usually this question first comes when they are young...when the answers are easier. But the questions will become more pointed as your child grows. Here are some ideas to help you throughout the years.

Pose them a question. The best answer to their question is to actually pose a question back to them, “What do you think?” This will give you an idea of your child’s state of mind, and what s/he had in mind when your child asks the question. You don’t want to make the mistake of proudly describing anatomically exactly how babies are “made”, and look into your child’s shocked and stunned wide-eyed face only to find out that all they wanted to know was whether the baby came home from the doctor’s office or the hospital. So first get a feeling for why they are asking the question.

Follow their lead. You will know whether they are asking for the full story or not. Don’t feel as though you need to fill in all the blanks right away. When they are ready for the full explanation you will know..they will let you know.

Be truthful –age appropriate. When you are answering your child's question, you want to use age appropriate language that your child can understand. But keep in mind, if you call body parts cutesy names from the beginning instead of what they are anatomically called, you will set a precedent that can sometimes be hard to reverse. The precedent is that your child will eventually find out that you did not provide them with accurate information. And they will wonder why. Possibly the reason you are calling them cutesy names is because you are embarrassed about the subject matter. This is natural, but you will want to explore the reasons why, so that you can better prepare yourself. You won’t be your child’s own credible witness to the subject matter if you skip over the truth.

Be your child’s own credible witness. Being your child’s own credible witness means telling them the truth (through any embarrassment) of what body parts are called, of giving them truthful but age appropriate explanations to their questions, and by following their lead. Start when they are young! Why? If you start this pattern early on, you will reap the benefits of being a parent your child trusts, goes to for difficult answers, and can believe in. They will eventually get answers to their questions, but do you really want the internet, their friends, or another unrealiable/uncontrolled source to educate your child?

But most importantly, you need to be a credible PARENT early because your young child will eventually become a teenager! And if you don't have credibility by then, it might be too late, but at the very least, it will be very hard to gain.

Keep it going! Keep an open,honest and age appropriate dialogue with your children as they grow. This will decrease embarrassment and increase trust. Your children can be educated on this topic by you, or by the outside world…the choice is yours.